big red rambling 013: links to get you through the week of 10/11/2010 / big dead rambling! #1

Ugh… Sorry about missing Friday but I was out in the pumpkin patch trying to get the Great Pumpkin as a special guest star for the column but I guess that whole dark ritual I performed was for nothing. Yeah it turns out he only comes if you perform multiple blood sacrifices, which is why that stupid Linus kid never saw him. And to think I sacrificed a perfectly good duck for nothing. Not to mention that human blood stains like nobodies business, those are going to be impossible to get out of that shirt. Oh well. Let us move on.

Links to Get You Through the Week of 10/11/2010

No videos this week, for some reason I am just not in the mood, instead I will give you something that scares some people more than anything: a potential conspiracy.

Now lets talk about… Hey. Did anybody else hear that? That horrible sound, like something beneath the Earth opening up that should never have been opened alongside the brief yet painful wail of the eternally dammed? No? Just me? Okay. Onto some linkage to a good old spooky (sort of) video game time with the first survival horror game.

Hmmm…. Boy it just got awfully dark all of sudden, which is really odd considering it was already nightime. But this darkness is different, less physical, more spiritual in nature, like a despair covering the world that lays bear all hopes of dreams and good things, revealing the world for the cancerous canker sore it really is. Eh, probably nothing. Webcomic time, here is an old favorite that is about to, appropriately enough, rise from the grave. Its a delightful little one panel about the trials and tribulations of a hockey masked serial killer, and is what would happen if Far Side, Family Circus, and Wes Craven had an incredibly disturbing orgy.
So apparently the greatest thing ever got posted to the internet a few weeks back and nobody told me. And before anybody complains (yeah, right 🙂 that this is not Halloween or horror themed, understand that this video is so good, it’s scary.

And now for… Huh. Were those screams I heard coming from the house down the block? Nah, couldn’t be.

And now for this week’s Deliciously Deviant(art), sans commentary, because these pieces speak for themselves.

Jackolanterns by ~aemdihre

Pumpkin Head by *TomPreston

equinozio by ~VerbaliArte

Nohkan Mask Party by *takeru-san

Noh Love by ~Rozefire

The Pumpkin King by *Radojavor

Halloween by ~hockmen

Reunited -seriously scary 3 by ~steelgohst

Well. I guess that is it for this weeks… Wait. Hold on… Is that a knock on the door? Hmmm… Hold on a minute folks.

Who is… No! What are YOU doing here? You’re not the one I wanted. No wait, no! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

He he he he, hello boils and ghouls, its so nice to meat you again. That’s right, it’s me your old friend, and the one and only real ghost writer, The Cryptkeeper. I’m afraid Big Red made a tiny little mistake and summoned me. He was so beside himself, that he went all to pieces but don’t worry kiddies, I’m here to take over and ensure you all still get a frighfully good time. Let me just go put this bloody battle ax down and we will begin a little segement I like to call

I look into the future, my darlings… and for you, I see something… grotesque. It will sicken and disgust you! It’s me! Well, not just me of course. What kind of host does not bring… party favors. Lets get tonights dead- ivities started right, with a favorite old dead time story of mine, Tailypo. HAHAHAHAHA!

Well wasn’t that just de-frightful, everyone? So I bet you’ve been wondering to yourselves, ‘Crypty, just what have been doing all these years since your show ended?’ Well as it happens, I kept busy in a lot of ways, for instance I became scout leader of old scout unit. Didn’t know I was a bore scout, did you? Well I was! My horrorticulture scareit badge required me to plant croak-uses. Hmmm… A shame, really… I would have much rather planted… diebrids! HAHAHAHAHAHA! I also managed to keep a hand or two in the old TV game. And let me tell you they weren’t easy to chop off either. I even produced an kids show that went on to be a real favorite of lot of people. Why, maybe even you remember, Candle Cove! HAHAHAHAHA!

Hmmm… Maybe that was a little much for you. Don’t worry, our next story is much better, it even has a happy ending.

See. The girl lived and the man in the ski mask looked very happy to me. HAHAHAHAHAHA!
For our last gory, I think no introduction is necessary. After all, sometimes words just get in the slay. HAHAHAHAHAHA!

I’m afraid I’m all out of time, have to get back the old crypt, those bodies aren’t gonna decompose by themselves, well they will, but it’s just not the same if I’m not there. So long kiddies, have a unpleasant Halloween and I’ll see you in your screams! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!


0 Responses to “big red rambling 013: links to get you through the week of 10/11/2010 / big dead rambling! #1”

  1. Leave a Comment

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: